Monday, November 29, 2010

But being momma is a job...

Well, I haven't said much about this because in the whole scheme of life it means nothing but because of financial issues (my husband being one of those that has a Master's degree but can't find a decent paying job) we are living with my in-laws.  I love them dearly and if I had to live with anyone besides hubby and baby it would be them but sometimes it is hard.  I think the hardest part is not being able to freely express myself during my crazy moments.  Sometimes I just need to vent about things without an audience.  Anyway, I was in one of those venting sessions yesterday and the response I was given was that maybe I should get a little job to make some extra money so we can afford our own place.  No, not from hubby but from some well-meaning family members. Honestly, I barely make it through the days without collapsing as it is.  I can't imagine dragging myself to a second job.  All of this has made me doubt myself but I know that I am meant to be a full-time momma to my baby no matter the sacrifice.  I could probably get a part-time job and scrape enough money together to get a small apartment but it would be at the sacrifice of my time with my beautiful family.  It may be silly or naive or immature but having money and even my own happiness will never come before taking care of my sweet Silas.  I say all of this now because I wish I would have said it yesterday instead of making excuses for my decisions.  I am sitting here now saying, without excuse, that no matter how difficult it can be I will continue to raise my boy in the way that I think is best and right now that means giving him the full-time care that he deserves.  These glimpses at our day are the reasons why:






I am so blessed that I didn't have to miss a single of these moments in his life!

2 comments:

  1. being a full time mom is a hard job but so worth it! I know how it feels sometimes thinking maybe I need a job because John hates his but I just can't trade in all the moments of "firsts" that I got to witness and the close bond Sean and I have. But there are days when I have to put him in the crib and shut myself in the closet because I can't take it anymore (so glad there isn't anyone to see me, but it happens).

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  2. When the discussion comes up about finances it's my hubby that brings up the fact that we have a one income household, but I have to remind him that I can't just leave Elizabeth home alone and I only have a certain window of time that I can have someone sit with her and most places of employment are not going to be that flexible. I also remind him that in place of me making money at a job OUTSIDE of the home we do have Elizabeth's SSI which helps with things (food, gas...)! I get so aggravated when he makes the comments, "Well I don't get to just stay home all day....blah blah blah!" He acts like I have not a worry in the world. He also forgets that for 5 + years I helped grandma and grandpa, plus everything with Elizabeth then when dad got down I helped him with things. I'd do all of those again but it wasn't always easy.

    I agree...I can't imagine missing out on any of the things Elizabeth has done and she tells me often that she is so happy I do everything with her. My stepbrother's wife has her masters and has had it for going on 9 or so years and never was able to get a job in that field, however she did end up with a preK teaching job that she loves.

    I say trust in God that he'll help you guys with what you need. Praying for you cuz! Hugs!

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