Well, I haven't said much about this because in the whole scheme of life it means nothing but because of financial issues (my husband being one of those that has a Master's degree but can't find a decent paying job) we are living with my in-laws. I love them dearly and if I had to live with anyone besides hubby and baby it would be them but sometimes it is hard. I think the hardest part is not being able to freely express myself during my crazy moments. Sometimes I just need to vent about things without an audience. Anyway, I was in one of those venting sessions yesterday and the response I was given was that maybe I should get a little job to make some extra money so we can afford our own place. No, not from hubby but from some well-meaning family members. Honestly, I barely make it through the days without collapsing as it is. I can't imagine dragging myself to a second job. All of this has made me doubt myself but I know that I am meant to be a full-time momma to my baby no matter the sacrifice. I could probably get a part-time job and scrape enough money together to get a small apartment but it would be at the sacrifice of my time with my beautiful family. It may be silly or naive or immature but having money and even my own happiness will never come before taking care of my sweet Silas. I say all of this now because I wish I would have said it yesterday instead of making excuses for my decisions. I am sitting here now saying, without excuse, that no matter how difficult it can be I will continue to raise my boy in the way that I think is best and right now that means giving him the full-time care that he deserves. These glimpses at our day are the reasons why:
I am so blessed that I didn't have to miss a single of these moments in his life!