Wednesday, December 15, 2010

This is harder than I thought

I am really trying to keep up this optimism but I keep getting knocked back down.  I think the biggest factor is that I am pretty sure that I am losing my mind.  I keep forgetting things, and losing things, and backing vehicles into mailboxes (okay, that has just happened once but it hurt the most).  I don't know what it wrong with me but I am pretty sure that my brain is dying from complete and total sleep deprivation and from hearing a baby cry all day long. 

Silas and I are both in a slump from being stuck indoors day after day.  He is also teething and it has made him very grumpy and I can't seem to please him ever.  I am really just feeling like abandoning ship but there is nothing but bone dry land anyway so they would probably just chase me.  I love my family but I am just totally overwhelmed and feel alone in my situation.  I can't seem to find anyone to talk to that understand the way that I am feeling.  I hope it is just still a new momma thing but I am wondering how long it will take for it to pass.


  1. Hey lady!! I completely understand where you are coming from. There are days when I realize that I haven't left the house in like 4 or 5 days. My conversation consists of shapes and colors and numbers until I feel like my head is going to explode.

    I found a playgroup through my school district. See if there's a PALS group for Central district. Playgroups are great because baby gets to play with other kiddos and mommy gets some adult conversation. You can also look for events at the library. You could also take a walk at the mall. Just a way to get out of the house and get a little exercise. Silas could play in the playground to pass some time too. Just some options to get you out of the house without spending money!!

    I'm here if you need to talk!!!

  2. The forgetfulness and and craziness is called mommy brain!! i know a few single car families who really have to coordinate to share car time, is it possible to plan 1 day to use the car? It might take some work dropping off and picking up but maybe having a day every so often will help you feel less traped. As for the aloneness, Maybe you can find an online forum either a local or other board for moms to get you in touch with more moms who understand where you are coming from. I post on a bard on where other moms with babies Seans age talk about anything and everything and it really helps me!

  3. I SO know what you are talking about. Although my baby is 18 years old now, I feel like no one really understands totally what having a child with a disability is like. Don't get me wrong, I love Elizabeth to no end and she is just one of the sweetest people ever, but it is still so hard at times. The sad thing is some of the biggest issues I have are with the hubby and he should be the one person that I get my biggest support from. When dad was alive I was running errands for him through the month and so I was out and about a lot but now I am at home ALL the time and it's about enough to drive you crazy....or feel like it anyway. Maybe sometime after the Holidays we'll have to get together and go out somewhere...I'm still excited to meet Mr. Silas!!!