So, yesterday was Silas's 9 month visit (he was actually 9 months old on Monday) and, as I always am, I was excited to take him to his Doc and see how much he has grown. Mommas of preemies probably never get past feeling that rush of their baby's weight gain. I know that I haven't. Well, B was 27 1/4 inches long (which put him in the 25th percentile)...he started out a measly 16 inches at birth so he has gained nearly a foot since birth. That seems so crazy to me. I can definitely tell he is so long now though.
I have this thing where i pick him up and tuck him close to me and rock and say "oh, look at my little preemie. Sometimes he laughs and sometimes he gets mad but I always laugh now because it looks so ridiculous to call this big strong boy a preemie. He is so long now that when I do it I just tuck his leg behind my arm so that I can just cuddle his torso. Hah...the more I right the weirder this practice seems. I think it is just for perspective...to see how far we have come. I will probably still be trying to do this when he is fifteen.
In more disappointing news his weight has always been in the 5th percentile which made him a tiny guy but he always followed his curve and that was comforting but yesterday he weighed in at 15 lbs 13 ozs, which is nearly quadruple his birth weight, but it put him in the 3rd percentile. I kept asking , "3rd?" I was so disappointed by the loss, the loss of his gain. It's hard to explain to anyone but another momma how it feels for something little like this to happen. I felt so guilty and judged. Instantly, my mind starts in on what I have done wrong and am I starving him. The Dr. looked at all he was eating and said it looked good. She said we might need to fit in another bottle somehow in the day (considering he still takes 3 at night) and keep doing what we are doing with the solids so that is my goal. She said the main reason it will be harder for him to gain is because he is just so active so he is burning a lot of calories. If I could show you a video of how much he moves in a day you would see what she means. If the boy is not still for a second. People don't understand why I am so exhausted by the end of the day until they watch him for even thirty minutes. That is the one comment that I alwys get from people "he is so active". So, short of tying him to his seat or something I am going to have to get him to take that one extra bottle.
In terms of development, his gross motor skills are great. He is sitting , crawling, pulling up, cruising on furniture, and standing on his own for short periods of time. His social skills are good: waving, playing peek-a-boo. Where he seems to be behind (once again a blow to my momma confidence), is his fine motor skills and his speech. He still can't pick up food and feed himself, he scoops with his whole hand instead of his fingers, he isn't bringing both hands together for things. With his speech, he is still just kind of squealing but really babbling anything. Sometimes when he sees the cats he will yell "kee" like kitty, I think. So, because of these little setbacks we are going to look into getting parents as teachers come to help our preemie out. This makes me excite because it will give me some guidance on what I can do to help my boy out.
I am so proud of my nine month old and the fact that he chases cats, is entranced by the ipad commercial, has a great little shy smile where he tucks in his lips and looks at you sideways from a tucked down chin. I love how no matter where he is in the room in relation to something that he wants, he thinks that if he just stretches a little further then he can reach it. I love his still nearly bald head and still completely toothless grin.
I love that when I got home from the Dr. yesterday and felt that I had been dealt a blow, I could look down and remember that he was still the same boy he had been before the appointment. We hadn't actually taken any steps back, we were just armed with more information. I really love that when he is most happy he looks at me first with his grin and that when he is most upset it is my arms he wants to be in...my little almost 16 lb. preemie.